im still coughing. blocked nose. so uncomfy right now.

finally i see the BBS project that i have done almost 85% on my own, is getting better.

just dropped my lecturer an email and ask for feedbacks. Hope he can be more direct with his feedbacks and advices. Really need to score well for the project.

Is really not easy to do it alone. Just look at the time now, Im about to faint. :|

is a miracle. this evening, i cooked for the whole family. Haha.

but of coz, mommy was besides me to give instructions. Just wan her to take more rest and leave it to me.

but still need her to be beside me. feel so bad about it. mopped the house also. so amazing despite all the chores i sill can be here. :P

Just now had a lil brush off again. There i was , yesterday saying i love him. but now, i really don't know.

Sigh, many times is just small issue. but it really boils deep down in my heart.

Now i think i know how u feel my dear friend. Miss u so much.
So sad that maybe wont be able to see u in the near future.

Don't know for what particular reasons, whenever i listen to Jay's songs, it really brings me back to the past.

All the past memories juz swept across me suddenly, the feel , the scent, all the nitty gritty..

I miss my past. my past past past. Now see back, time really flies. Everything just seems like a dream to me.

ok im speechless now.

just let me listen to his song once again and reminiscence before i turn in for the night. or should i say is for the morning? 4.54AM. -shake head-

since ytd started on a new skincare. donno is it as good as it claims or not... so worried ..

hais. i still miss kose cleanser, i love the scent. is all hb's fault don't let me step in isetan that day!!!

later will be going for my classes. don't know why since last week i have this 'dontfeellikestudying' mood.

oh last friday i went for my singles steamboat dinner buffet with my FOC mommies.

all the babes were left at home. enjoy enjoy tho is juz that short hours.

will post the yummy pics later on when i load frm my camera.

nws getting late. going to catch my rest.

pray: keenan will be fine! and oli and andrea. god bless them.. send the guardian angels to watch over them.!

in jesus name i pray - amen -

updates updates..

finally got what i have been yearning for..
haha don bother to guess. is nth expensive. juz a LC le pilage - bilberry.
why i want it so much? hmm bcoz the more hb don like the more i wan and i like. -LMAO-

lately have been goin quite close with my bunch of mommies from forum.
-for gatherings, for msn mass chats, for the kiddos' trial classes-
but aniway, i love them , they are so nice to hang out with.

i think im neglecting my other friends. hope they wont mind me.
coz im a sahm timings quite erratic for them..

especially after tristan is around, my weekends is never for myself alone.
have to divide my time for hb's family, my family and what abt the friends............ SIGH.

time is always not enuff !!!

studies
finally my quizzes part 1 is over. now awaiting for my results. but for the statistics is so tough lor. i seriously donno what is tt lecturer teaching.

CAN PSB ACADEMY STOP GIVING GREENHORN LECTURERS TO US?
sorry not that im mean, but pls i pay to study, don give me these lecturers. if pass our exams stillok. if fail we still have to pay more to retest . so sick. this is the 2nd time i see a new and unable to explain well lecturers in this diploma course liao. somemore both are related to maths. (statistics and quantitative skills)

as for both the projects, sad to say, no progress at all. i strongly feel that this time will be same as the previous. only rushing to produce the end product at the very last minute (near the dateline).
ok i will try to make sure i do my part real soon. probably over this weekend or maybe after friday 10pm when i got home from my dinner :)

Tristan driving me nuts these days. super demanding and sticky to me. sometimes i juz feel as if i cant breathe.

I really yearn for a breakaway trip. i really need someone to help me with tristan. at this point of time, i really wish tristan is big boy now.

ok to my dreamz now

Betrayers

ever wonder the person closest to you will betray and leave u in despair?

how close is the person to you?

ever wonder what makes the person who was once close to you to do that?

is the person went crazy? in some kind of spell or naturally born to be a betrayer?

Does betrayer = traitor = jerk = beast?

sometimes, im wondering, how much does i fully understand those who are closest to me.

i guess, nothing in this world is definite.

I only pray and hope that such beasts will learn thru the hard way sooner or later.

and able to widen up their eyesights and appreciate those that they should be appreciating.

Coming up this week

hubby is clearing his offdays this week..

good or bad? good i guess.. juz pray that we wont have any quarrels.

hmm his bday is approaching.. real soon. and i dont know how shd i go about.

if i ask him what he want he sure will tell me he don wan anithing .

coz i will be using his $ to buy him present.

dang right!

anyway. love this month especially.

have lotsa of meetups n programmes for the 3 of us.

before ........

im so tired. but yet still have so many unfinish stuffs...and im gng back to sch again.!

my dog. my pre-preg clothes. my wardrobes. my taWg.

seriously buay tahan.

I need to KO now ..

before i forget, i so happy i got another t.o.p and d.r.e.s.s.e.s i admit im vain.

so what. haha

im sad i lost my tristan's TAGGIES BLANKET juz now on the streets!!!

anithing wadever. brain slowing down. cant function properly.

B.y.es

my thots

okay am supposed to be studying now.

but got some thots loitering in my brain and i got no choice but to pen it down.

somehow realli missed the old days. not that im not enjoying the presence.

times is really getting on me tho im only 24.

i feel that i lost touch with so many of them.

i miss them.. okay back to reality.

going to kiss my books and notes now. predict that i have to stay up till 4am.

Books is my BFF now

my wish list as at june 23 2009

i want many stuffs. i cant imagine im so greedy. hur hur hur i know is impossible to get it all but i just want to jot it down. to remind myself how greedy am i now. haha

Gucci tote bag !
Touch Screen Handphone
New Camera
Endless supply of TOps, Bottoms, Shoes
I want to get rid of my super monsterous STRETCH MARKS!
I want to lose away my 7KG of FATS !!!
Excellent results for my modules when im still not studying now.
Baby Einstein DVDS Box Set for Tristan
Your Baby Can Read DVD Set for Tristan
Swimming Tub & Neck Float for Tristan
Themal Flask for Tristan
Many many more stuffs for Tristan

Thats all. I know im greedy. Oops

h1n1 influenza A

oh dear.. till now there's already 14 cases in Singapore. this is worrying man.

i thought is safe liao.. even went out a few times this week with Tristan.

alamak.. shd i continue my self quarantine at home with tristan? =(

really hope that it will stop lor for god's sake.

if u are sick. pls be socially responsible.

Do not go out, go work or school.

Do not go crowded places as well..

my identity

i was once a newborn, an infant, a toddler, a child, a teenage, a girl,

always a daughter, a sister to my family.

now a woman, a mommy, a wife, a daughter in law.

and also a christian.

my life is considered a reborn ever since i accepted Christ a couple of times. and of coz the very last time is back at december 2008 and amen im still with God.

But what is Christianity? Is a relationship between me and God.

It doesnt mean im a perfect person after i accept Christ.

Afterall im still a human. I will fall into traps, i will have times where i cant control my emotions. But i will definitely regret, and repent and seek forgiveness from God.

Pls don't come and tell me i shouldnt do this do that or whatever just because i go Church so i shouldnt be like that.

Im so hurt by what people have commented. Is it becoz im a Christian so im bound to be pinpointed for my errors by others?

Think about it.

Uncontrollable

im obsessed! everyday without fail. im thinking of ways to slim down!

ya right. SLIM DOWN...

i think im like a monster now. trying all kinds of method..

be it wearing those slimming aids and using my uzap and uzap mini..

even my nose, i find it FAT.

if i cant slim down, i think i will go crazy. sometimes i even hate taking pics.

going out oso pose problems to me. i cant seem to get nice clothings to wear without revealing my FATS.

seeing my photos taken before my pregnancy days only make me feel worse.

and best thing is my birthday present given by hb is what u noe.

A photo album with all my past photos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im juz so upset. im touched by his sincerity but same time im so upset with myself.

don bother to give me any comfort words. it wont make me feel any better.

lazy mommy

I love this pic of us so much. now i believe im not ugly after deliver but just left with FATS..ARGh..

haha. im lazy yes .. to blog and even to chat in msn/forum..and even use my HP..
sometimes i really wish that 1 day can have 48 hours or even more..


aniway, im done with my confinement!
done with my baby shower.. -thank u for turning up peeps..
and almost done with my moving house.. -tiring...


yea right, we moved back to Tampines to stay with my parents.
really miss my kakis at wdls. well.. we can always arrg to meet up.
nowadays, mostly home alone with baby tristan.. it can be very super exhausting lor.
thank god, dad occassionally will return home to buy me lunch. up till now, i havent go and buy lunch on my own tgt with baby tristan..


have went out a few times with baby tristan. hehe. is really tiring. muz prepare him and myself b4 going out. by the time we are ready to go. im already HALF DEAD trust me. so 70% of the time i somehow dreads going out. i rather stay at home and NUA. how am i going to attend the morning service on my own..
my comments abt this is: i didnt really get to shop.. walk ard with him den he wakes up i got to BF him liao.. ya i breastfeed in public. but of coz with my nursing wrap from Obuba. Thanks to it man. Anyway i got it from Spree.. any 1 interest u can contact me to get it frm my seller..
but of coz, going out is really relax for me.. and i can let down my hair.. provided he is not cranky.


next month - May
will be going back to sch.. but wont be with the old classmates anymore.. sobs.
due to the arrival of my little prince i have to adjust my sch days to mon n wed ..
hb will be going back for his reservice. oh ya, and i have to go back to gynae clinic for pap smear..


alrite thats all for the moment. ciaoz

Tristan in his Growth Spurt?

I almost want break down these 2 days and nights..

HAve been feeding him non-stop.. like donno how many times within an hour...

Is so tiring.. and nerves wrecking when u hear him wailing from the second he wakes up..

I start questioning myself.. why is it he nvr gets 2-3 hours of slp like before?

Why is he always so hungry?? then it struck me that he could be highly possible in the Growth Spurt transition...

Now i can only pray that his Growth SPurts will ends real soon.. and not like what the article said "some might last for a week".. i will probably go mad. I almost went mad last night..

Today i also realised, im so stressed up until i might be grinding my teeth last night..

is really not easy.. not EASY AS ABC...

motherhood

now then i know is never EASY to be a MOTHER... Marks my word peeps..

GOt to attend to baby Tristan right away when ever he cries..

To check if he wants milk, or he poos or pee leaking and wets his top.. or he just wan cuddles..

Got to be 24/7 on standby.. SOmetimes, when we both are resting and the moment he wakeys i got to wakey too.. and attend to him right away.. even if im URGENT wan to release .. haha..

But Thank GOd, my family and Hubby are around to help out..

Today, Baby Tristan is already 3Weeks and 1Day old. Now i think back, time really FLIES..

Im still reminded of the labour process back then. Really thank God for the labour to be a natural one.. and Tristan is healthy. =)

For the first two weeks is really not easy for me and hubby.. And i do picks on him at times when comes to babycare.. But no matter what, i know he is still my dearest one..

Even tho, Tristan is 3weeks and 1Day old now.. but our confinement will only be considered 'OVER' on the Apr 2nd accordingly to the chinese calendar.. However, my mom will still me cooking me those confinement food .. :P

i love my mommy's soups. so yummy. thanks my greatest mom.

updates

for the past few days, my mom has been around to help out with my confinement.

i really feel better with her presence.. phew.

is like i will go haywire when unable to cope with tristan ho's cryings..

haha. By the way, yesterday bb went to register baby tristan's birthcert!

he is TRISTAN HO JUN WEI..
Jun = Handsome
Wei = Wei Da de Wei but the older version of chinese character.

bb ytd went back to wdls wanted to get my pot of black vinegar and bank passbooks..
then he reached the doorsteps then he realised he didnt bring his lock of keys with him.. +_+
SO LOL.. in the end he took cab dwn to ICA to register baby's birthcert only.. never endorse the cashgift thingy.

As for me, i have completed my 5 days session of post natal massage with Ms Mona..
have loss 2inches at my waist and 2inches at my hips..after last massage donno if got any loss or not.. coz i cant find any measuring tape at home.. :( ltr muz go ask my mom liao...
when will i ever regain back my figure!

Backies~~

got a chance to blog again.. after my lil darling is born..

still trying to adjust to the USA time zone for him man..

Remember that first night after discharged is really a challenge for me both mentally and physically..

didnt get to Mass SMS all my pals.. cause have been receiving visitors non stop after i delivered.
Can imagine from 02nd March i only slept for 2 hours becoz contractions kept me awake and until 03rd March 10pm plus i only slept like 30 mins and start having visitors liaos.. +_+

and the Sony Ericsson phone is not gd.. after selecting many names then I was prompted tt cant send out coz the list is too long. diaos... So eventually i only managed to send out to name from A - D if i remember correctly.

So eventually i used Facebook as a medium to inform friends about the arrival of my lil prince. =)

After delivered to him , i have plenty of thoughts to myself... most of them are makin me emotional. Sigh. now, can only hope he will be the main source of my happiness..

My Greatest Experience - Birthing

Finally, baby and i made it together on 03.03.2009 - Tuesday 12:52pm!
:) Natural without Epidural !!!

I was transferred to Waiting ward @ 8am that morning. Previously i spent the night away in normal ward.

Dr Ang did VE on me again but was still 2cm - 3cm, same as the previous check. Not much difference.

Cleared my bowels, get changed to operating robe and was put on drip and wait..

Slowly, contractions came more frequently and more intensify but still bearable.

Contractions then hit me off strongly at the very last 1 hour and i started going goo goo gaa gaa..
Last check was only 5cm by a very nice nurse.. Then i asked for Laughing Gas.
Still with that, im goo goo gaa gaa away and getting louder and louder tho i tried not to.. I was also pushing uncontrollably when contractions came. The feelings is just like want to POO POO very much.

The Nice nurse popped by and checked on me and my cervix was fully dilated.
She faster called out the others and pushed me into the labour ward at her fastest speed and reminded me not to push anymore. To hold my breathe..

The moment i was pushed into the labour ward, within 5mins, my darling has arrived to this world. Luckily Dr Ang was just in next room if im not wrong.. PHEW!
The process is too fast until i got a shock when baby is out and placed immediately on my tummy.

Initially he was very greyish in color, as he stays on my tummy,i tried to touch him to comfort him.. and his skin colour slowly turned to slight pinkish. How Touching is that moment!

Praise the Lord, Thank God for being there for us. Keeping us safe..

Bad Day @ home

i sprained my left feet few hours back. ouch now still slight limping ..

felt so helpess just now cause' was all alone at home. .

even if he's at home i got to be independent. . =(

im going out soon in awhile's time after i get ready to go. .

meeting CMT . . we are gg to B W today. .

mr ho told me he having sore throat so not going with us. .

sore throat cant go out? i also having sore throat since 2 nights back till now..

yesterday i asked if he wanna come with me coz i will be taking mrt back alone.

he told me i will be fine taking train back alone , will definitely get a seat offer by people.

while for him, if he comes with me to town he will definitely got no seat.

if i really no seat in train then ask me to alight and take a cab back. . [*how sweet*]

like HELLO.. im heavily pregnant. going to due anytime from now.

seriously one woman cant rely 100% on the guy besides her. .

I GOTTA BE STRONG

Online Contact Lens Shops

Previously, i realised there is this rave going on among yuppies in Singapore.

Purchasing Cheap Cosmetics Contact lens online. From those blogshops..

Seriously i think blogshop owners should know what are they selling, the risks etc.

And not just sell for the main purpose of $ and ignore any other consequences the buyers may face after using their products.

I was rather skeptical about wearing it. Yes i was tempted to buy to try too!

But as is related to eyes issue, i am super careful with it.

I remembered this classmate back in my ite clementi schdays.

I reckon that she didnt practise much care and caution about wearing lens and she ended up with a serious problem with her eyes.

In results, after her hospital stay. She is unable to wear the normal soft contact lens and got to wear a very small hard contact lens.

Even with spectacles put on, she wont be able to get a clear vision as compared to before.

What worst, part of her pupil is dented. i cant rem is both pupils or only one.

But trust me, the pain, worries and fears she went thru is good enough to kill.

Thanks to her, from sharing her experience i became very careful with lens.

NEVER Wear lens to sleep overnight, clean my lens properly, let my eyes rest on somedays and use spectacles, dump ur daily/bimonthly/monthly lens on time..

So peeps, Do be careful with what u are putting into your eyes.

It maybe ordinary/beautiful cheap lens..

But on the other hand u could be the next one putting RISK unto your EYES.

Pls Read this http://www.asiaone.com/Health/News/Story/A1Story20090210-120853.html with your OWN EYES.

Bad Encounters

Had two bad encounters within the 24hours. -wtf-

first - 1 am
got scared by one big gecko feasting on my rubbish hang on the window beside my sink in kitchen.
i screamt at the top of my lungs. woke my bb up.. and scared off the big gecko away.
it escaped into my laundy room. dammit i guess i wont be stepping in the next few days.
got reprimanded by BB.. why must i scream. ask me not to scream. but how to not scream tell me. even seeing a baby gecko i can also scream liaos. moreover this is a big one trust me. he still say i screamt will scare my little one in my womb.
please lah dey. . .

second - 430am
forced myself to step in kitchen to refill my gigantic drinking glass.
switched on my lights, praying that i wont be seeing the stupid gecko anymore.
and there is another creepy fellow... that caught my attention.
at the super right corner. outside my common toilet. lies down a COCKROACH!!!!!!
EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks KILL ME PLS..
Why am i seeing these 2 stupid creepy creatures in one night???
i didnt scream this time. amazing right..cause' the roach is lying on its back, can see its struggling to flip back on its legs or whateveryoucallthat.
i plucked up my courage to go open the cupboard below my kitchen sink hoping the idiot gecko isnt around there anymore and get my pesticide out to kill the ROACH.
I sprayed and sprayed continously non-stop .. holding my breathe.
geeks. now recalling the scenario still good enough to make my hair stands.
im so afraid that the ROACH survive this ordeal and will come back for revenge.
seriously i left the roach there at the orginal position where it was. i told hb about it. told him the roach is as big as his ears. but he say ok and go back to slp. and he will clear the rubbish which he didnt dump away last night.
what if the ROACH crawls to my room.
i better stay awake and wait till BB wakes up soon and see to it he clears whatever stuffs he ought to clear.

anw im proud to announce that this is the 2nd time i dealt with ROACHES.
im proud of my bravery acts tho' there is still room for improvement.

the first time was back at my mom's place. the stupid ROACH stayed in my house for ages inside my storeroom beside my room. i got so fkin pissed off that one fine day it came out to my living room for a stroll and i decided to kill it no matter what.
and i did it. of cause' with newspapers. i crushed it and get someone to get rid.

= ) i hate pests. seriously STC is not doing a good job in keeping my housing estate pests-free.
Why are we paying them $48 every month..