had a bad day

2days back i got so agitated by his reactions.
somehow got very pissed off..
i was hoping the best for baby and for two of us.
but he juz thinks i did it all for myself.
so im juz so selfish in his eyes..
im utterly disappointed by his level of understanding of me.
his words pierced me thru my heart again.
he told me he rather work everyday when im always hoping for his off day..
is really very hurtful. most of the times, when he's at work im all alone @home.
how i longed for his return for his companion everyday.
but now den i realised is all my foolish side of thinking.
when he was complaning of monetary matters, im equally not feeling great.
i know he is suffering. but aint im not suffering it too?
i feel so helpless. i can only pray.
i tried all my best to control my emotions not to let it take over me.
but i just lost my cool.. i hate it when i lost my cool.
juz behaving like a small gal throwing tempers.
i regretted of all my foolish actions.
im sorry towards baby for crying endlessly. think he can feel mommy is sad..
but i really cant help it for i juz couldnt ctrl myself already.
i tried to walk out of his life but i realised im so used to rely on him.
and i didnt want to coz i dont want to worry my parents..
am i useless?
i couldnt return to the single life of mine.
coz im no longer alone.
baby is with me as well.
is everything a wrong from the start?
now i guess i can only look upon the future, not the past anymore.
i pray hard.
God please bring me to right path of life.. i dont wanna be misled again.
I really wish i can do the right things at the right time now.